10. You chaife. And I don't mean a little rub here or there. I mean, "I am unavailable in the bedroom until further notice cause I look like a bmx bikers worse road rash in the nether regions" and "I will be au-naturale for the foreseeable future and going sans-deodorant because that shiz stings like a mother on an armpit chaife". Running really does make you sexy, eh?
9. You ain't gonna become a size 2. Ok - you will loose some weight of course if you are new to exercising and running in general... but you wont become that 5'8" long+lean girl you knew who ran cross country and a strong wind would have blown her over. Nope. Runners really do come in all shapes and sizes and you will tighten yours up but you wont grow three inches and be a waif either. Oh - and you will eat like a race horse. Lose that calorie tracker or put it on run mode, at least, because you be a hungry runner chick - constantly.
8. You really will get addicted. It's ok because it's not like it's crack or anything - but you will have severe withdrawals possible after missing only one scheduled run. Symptoms include but are not limited to:
- crankiness
- feelings of "being lazy" despite a full workout less that 24 hours previous
- random bouts of anger
- jealousy towards complete strangers getting their fit on
- over-training after 'missed opportunities
- feelings of longing when seeing a path, side walk or hill
- obsession with seeing others "rungrams" and searching social media for what others lucky runners got to do today
7. You will talk about running - a lot. (Maybe even blog about it - guilty!) I'm pretty sure addiction (see #8) is a full-time gig. When you're running you'll think about how you're RUNNING RIGHT NOW. When you're done you'll think about how you JUST RAN. A little bit later you'll eat for fuel so you can RECOVER FROM RUNNING and then you'll go to bed early because you're thinking about GETTING UP FOR A RUN. You'll also join several groups for support and to talk MORE - yup addiction ain't pretty.
6. Running is not free. Not even close! First let's start with your kicks - those puppies cost upwards of $100 now for an average pair of running shoes. And yeah you can score a sale but you'll also pay full price to "shop local" because runners love that happy crap and you'll want to go in an talk (see #7) and be able to test and return them easily. You'll also need something to hold "hydration" - no a regular water bottle just won't do - try a Camelback hydropack; Something to carry your phone/music - Spibelt works; Something to track pace - a Garmin watch maybe. Have any injuries? Try KT Tape (not the cheap version it won't stay on) or compression sleeves. Need a goal or motivation? Race entries are slightly out of control but you'll do it many times a year anyways, 'cause you'readdicted, remember? And if you're racing you probably don't want to just wear any old outfit so you'll have to buy a new one, try sparkleathletic for some notice-me flare.
5. You will start making sure new friends run. It's kind of asshatish - but you run and you talk about it a lot (#7) so it helps if your circle suffers from the same affliction (#8). AND 5a. When you meet another runner you will automatically assume you're friends. Very similar to the above mentioned point but different because you may find yourself talking at length to a complete stranger you meet in the running store or in the fitness section of Target; "I have that, great tank, ran my last half in that. Oh you ran Rock N Roll, too?! What corral? How and where did you train? Did you PR? Great swag! Oh I know so hot that day! We should run sometime..."
4. Running is more than just going for a run. You started thinking it's free, I will lose weight, and it's easy and uncomplicated. No on all counts. We already discussed weight and price - lets tackle "easy and uncomplicated". Have you ever heard of interval training, hill workouts, fartleks (terrible name, I repeat, terrible), tappering, speedwork and more. It turns out if you want to get better at this stuff, avoid injury, and keep it up - you need more than just the same ole 3-5 mile loop you thought you were getting yourself into. You may even consult a running coach because you eat up all this learning and sweating now with vengeance.
4. Running is more than just going for a run. You started thinking it's free, I will lose weight, and it's easy and uncomplicated. No on all counts. We already discussed weight and price - lets tackle "easy and uncomplicated". Have you ever heard of interval training, hill workouts, fartleks (terrible name, I repeat, terrible), tappering, speedwork and more. It turns out if you want to get better at this stuff, avoid injury, and keep it up - you need more than just the same ole 3-5 mile loop you thought you were getting yourself into. You may even consult a running coach because you eat up all this learning and sweating now with vengeance.
3. You're other hobbies will merge into running hobbies. Take me for an example: I am crafty. I like to paint pen like a sorority sister getting ready for rush. I used to do things for kids birthday parties, beach scenes and wedding gifts. I love graphic design as a hobby and used to make wedding/birthday invitations, programs and Christmas cards. Now I make things like this:
Sara Designed Shirts for the whole crew.
2. You will join groups like a college student at orientation. Thanks to Meet-Up, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and so on you can be constantly connected to other runners, known or unknown. You're in constant contact and feed off of learning, reading, finding pics about running. You know running is an individual sport but you will find yourself on the biggest team you have ever been on and it will grow daily.
1. You will become ridiculously annoying and misunderstood to the average non-runner. Let's face it - an addicted, sometimes injured, often broke, one-hobbied pony is no fun at the fair. Unless, of course, that fair is a grouprun.
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